call me sissy.. call me soft heart.. fuck it.. i dont give a rat ass. I miss my family a lot.. miss them so much.. . tengok2 gambar yang tersayang.. terasa sebak.. adui... for all that i have done.. God still gives me a beautiful family... Thanks a Godzillion.. no words to describe how or what .. this kind of feelings used to be something that is forbidden in my life. something that is for the weak.. something for the pussies..
Then suddenly, theres like a bit knock ... what the.. i feel like sissies ... this cant be.. i am really going soft.. always smiling when people stepping me.. back stabbing me.. fuck... teringat once... when suddenly i came back to seremban wearing a "kopiah" in terminal 1 Seremban.. this indian friend of mine.. come to me n walk besides me, put his hand around my shoulders and says.. "bagi gua ha, abot sudah mati.." then he stopped.. look at me, smile n walk away.. Back then in my heart, i said "fuck you, i kill you anytime if i want to.." but know.. i guess.. he's right. abot really sudah mati.. im not the strike first, talk later kind of person anymore.. ive gone soft.. fuck!!!
no wonder people around me back stab n step over me, not giving me "the respect" anymore. cause i dont deserve it anymore...
mmm.... abot suda mati... terngiang-ngiang.. suara dia.. memek muka dia masa dia cakap...
ahh... fuck it.. being in the underground world doesnt make me rich.. being in the mainstream world aint either.. i have once lost a love for being in the underground.. but to save cai#$*n as well.
wait seminit... takkan sebab sekarang suda mainstream... maka aku adalah lemah? takkan sebab rindukan keluarga maka aku adalah lemah... bullshit, its not fair.. life isnt.. chin up, face it..
i love my family. if loving my family and friends makes me soft, then so fuckin be it. i dont care anymore. i just want to spend my life with them, makes sure they're protected and taken care.. that is my atonement. To all my once long lost brotherhood that read this.. trust me.. when the time comes, i'll be there. for the time being.. ........ i just wait for the time comes... hahahahaha
