Tonight, as i were alone, and watching my favourite sitcom.. (scrubs) theres a scene when Carla afraid to have kids.. and Dr. Cox say.. “when you do have you own kid, youll find the courage to a be parent..
He was saying that while his son, hug him..
I really don’t know how that could make me suddenly misses my daughter so much... so much... its hard to explain how i misses both of them.. my wife and my daughter.. i miss them so much...
And talking about parenting, how am I to be a good father if I can only be with my daughter for just 2 days in a week.. FUCK.. If only my salaries enough for me to be with them, trust me, I will. A father shoud be with his wife, with his family, and try to help, be with them, love them, assist them etc.. etc.. when i couldn’t even call them cause I don’t have enough money to buy the prepaid card. FUCK!!! Life is hard..
My wife always tells me to “sabar” there will be a better day soon ... but I’m losing the moment right now.. when the time comes, when i really live with them, i couldn’t go back to watch those precious moment.. the hard times..
Thinking about this makes me cry a bit.. I miss them so much.. I love them so much... I could never receive a higher salary... neither could I be transferred to Seremban.. Im stuck..
could these leads me to stress.. depression.. insomnia...
what can i do.. i know what can i do.. I think I’ve already done it.. its to live my life for them. Everything is for them from now on.. as I love them so much.
Well.. enough for today.. hope to get some sleep... gd nite.
